Tears ran down my face as I sat on the floor outside my adopted daughter’s bedroom. She had been home with us for a year and instead of life getting easier, it became more challenging. As she slept in her bed after a long and difficult day I sat there and wept. Why was this so hard? Immediately, in God’s goodness, He gave me a revelation. The true challenge was not the issues we were experiencing of parenting a child from trauma, but rather it was the condition of my heart that was the problem. It suddenly occurred to me that I was not fully present in the season God called me to. You see, the season had changed, but my mindset had not. Spring had come, but I was still wearing a parka and shoveling snow as if we lived in winter. Attempting to live in the wrong season brought turmoil to both my spirit and my home.
A year and a half prior I was launched into new territory. My two biological children were both starting school full-time, for the first time. My stint as a stay at home mom was morphing and the months that followed shifted from nurturing my children all day to cultivating my small business once again. I enjoyed this new season so much that I did not recognize that it was ending as quickly as it began.
Our adoption finalized much sooner than we expected. What was anticipated to be a three-year wait was completed in eleven short months. We brought our two year old daughter home from China and once again I was been called to nurture a little one all day everyday. A beautiful and holy calling was set before me. However, instead of letting go of the short season of entrepreneurship and moving forward, I placed a foot in both seasons. I thought I could play in the snow and pick flowers. I thought I could have it all.
What resulted was an unsettled heart. I was discontented and frustrated because I was not reaping a harvest in either place- not in my home or in my business. That moment on the floor outside of my daughter’s bedroom, the Lord gently reminded me to be present to what He had called me to right now.
“For everything there is a season, a time for every matter under heaven.” -Ecclesiastes 3:1
Our life naturally falls into a rhythm of seasons. It is good to recognize the season ahead. Preparation for what is next is wise. And watching a season end prematurely does not mean it won’t come around again in due time. The problems arise when we obsessively focus on what was or what is coming that we miss the mission of our now. We must be fully present in this season to reap the harvest in the next. How can you gather the harvest of the coming season if you do not sow in this one?
Embracing the season in front of me did not magically make all the struggles vanish. Problems and difficulties were still there, but they were now met with peace and joy because my mind was fixed on Jesus and His plan for me. Committing to the race set before me replaced chaos and despair with peace and purpose.
Seven months into intentional sowing in this current season and I can testify that change has been taking place in our home. Our sweet daughter is thriving and we are even beginning to harvest some delicious fruit.
Are you embracing the season that God has put you in RIGHT NOW? Are you fully present in your assignment — in heart, mind, hands, and feet? Have you accepted that discomfort does not mean impossible, that it doesn’t mean you live without joy? Is your heart open to receive His provision — to supply your every need to reap the harvest?
Recognize and embrace the season you are in. All your troubles and pain may not cease, but peace will abound. And a harvest sown by peace is much sweeter than one sown by turmoil. “You keep in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts you.” -Isaiah 26:3
Renee Booe – Renee is a military wife, mom, Revelation Wellness Instructor, and portrait photographer.
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15 Responses
So good, thank you for sharing.
Renee, this is so beautiful, and true. I praise God for you, and the sweet lives you are nourishing. As a former lawyer turned stay at home mom and now empty nester, I can say that you will not regret your focused presence there, and your time with them will pass so quickly. Soon they will be grown and the days for your business will stretch ahead of you. Blessings~
This article is very meaningful to me as I, too parent children from trauma. They are my grandchildren. I have indeed tried to shovel snow in the spring and through the summer as well. In fact, I not only shoveled it, but buried myself in it, refusing to recognize that God had given me the tools I needed to sow in the spring. I have spent multiple seasons hidden in the drifts, doing only what was absolutely necessary, then retreating back to the nothingness where I lived. But as I have come out of those seasons, I have realized that not only has God brought me through, but He has planted where I failed and there was still a harvest that was reaped. Because He is faithful, He did not abandon His work. However, I had refused His invitation to be a part of that work, and so my life was swathed in the turmoil of which the author speaks. Thank you for reminding me that God wants us to be present in whatever season we are in, because when we are not, we miss the witness of His work.
Love this post! Thank you Renee!
Absolutely love Alison Keeton, RevWell and the leadership team! If you want lasting change, it first begins bs on the inside! Alisa Keeton is in tune with what the Spirit of the Lord is saying and doing in this season. Movement towards the heart of God so we can love God, Get Healthy, love ourselves and love others! Highly recommend
Thank you for this much needed reminder. I find myself looking back too often, appreciating those sweet first months with my daughter instead of embracing my time with her right now. We cannot live in two places at once and we miss God’s blessing when we set our gaze on the past or the future. Thanks for sharing your heart with us!
November 11, 2017
I am new to this blog site, and I was deeply touched as I read Allison Keeton’s “Living Fully Present” blog. (Nov. 1, 2017) Only recently have I fully surrendered to readjusted my life to accommodate the present season that I am in, after years of insisting on my own ambitious flow. Just as I stumbled across this site, today, I also stumbled across a book entitled “Rhythms of Grace: Discovering God’s Tempo for Your Life” by Kerri Weems. I sense I am in the flow and timing of GOD to pursue a change of spiritual direction (rest) and healing for my life. Usually, I prefer to journey alone, yet this season it is my delightful surprise to anticipate the possible fellowship of like minded Sisters in Christ, perhaps coming alongside and walking in sync, locking arms with together with me. Time will tell.
How to be well, how? I’m a wicked wicked sinner, who wasted his life playing games, going camping, and serving in the military. How can I be forgiven and cleansed by the blood. Please. I’m an epic failure that needs forgiveness somehow. Please.
Timely. It spoke to me about my current season. I am wondering if I am following God’s lead or am a justifying my decisions. I want my walk to about Him.
He is always available! Praying for wisdom and clarity!
Wow just wow this meT me right Where im at. Divinely Timed and oh so anointed thank you
Thank you for sharing, Lauren! God is so good!
Rhank you for sharing this. God definitely brought this to me. I have been a mess crying about things as well when i should just move forward. Its tough as a mom. I APPRECIATE you. Yod bless.
God bless you! Thank you for sharing, Traci. You’re in the right place!