I am going to share with you an interesting lesson that God taught me this morning. You see last night as I was studying, reading and preparing for this weeks lesson on love, I asked God " Okay, you tell me what you want me to know about your love so that I can teach what you want us to know." Because I realize that as a human it is very easy for me to think I know something about something and teach that something just because I have figured it out. I don't ever want my teachings to come from my head, but from the heart of God. So I asked God to please reveal to me what it is he wants me to know about love from his perspective, so that I might be able to learn it, live it and if given a chance, spread and teach it in a way that is honorable and right so that he receives the credit and not me. And boy did he listen.
This morning I woke at my usual time, which funny enough never seems to be enough time to get everything done in the morning. Probably because like most of you I have found it very easy to busy yourself with all the things you can do instead of focusing on the few things that you need to do. The clock was ticking and like every morning it is a game of beat the clock. I realized that in five minutes both my children needed to have their shoes on and out the door and in the car ready to hit the road. I kindly (or possibly sternly, depending on who you ask, me or my kids) told my children to hurry, hurry! As they ran out to the car I began the search for my car keys. Looking everywhere, and they were nowhere to be found. It's funny how in these moments the seconds feel likes minutes and the minutes like more. I then remembered that my lovely husband, who has taken my keys with him in the past to work, had moved my car and began to run my house panic stricken saying "Where are my keys, where are my keys, WHERE ARE MY KEYS!!!". Then the moment came where I realized that even if my husband had the keys, he is currently on a plane bound for Europe! Things were not looking good. I began to FALL APART! My heart and my mind were divided by the panic, the frustration, the fear, the worry, and the ANGER that began to boil inside of me. I was already looking days ahead into this week asking myself questions like "What will I do, how will I get the kids to school, myself to work, get groceries, I am going to have to call a locksmith, how much will that cost?" Down the rabbit trail I was going. I was seething! And the object of my seething was my husband. I was taking all this crud and throwing it at him, after all, it is his fault that I am in this mess, right?
By God's grace I found my keys in the garage. (No, they do not belong there and that is something for my husband and I to discuss when he returns) I was able to scoop the kids into the car and make it on the road in the nick of time. As I am exhaling and reversing the car out of the driveway my daughter says something that hit me like a mack truck. She said "Mommy, why did you call daddy an idiot?" Remember we talked about the power of WORDS yesterday? How soon I forgot. Yes, I confess, in my stomping around the house I must of murmured something to that affect and I was right then and there corrected, hit upside the head with what just happened. My daughter was confused. I am suppose to love daddy, and why would I do things or say words that show otherwise? Why would I? I was humbled and then God made it very clear to me what it is about love that he wants me to know.
Our love is conditional. You see as human beings, sons and daughters of Adam, we all have a heart condition. We suffer from heart disease that come from too much love of self. Which is why everyday in every challenging moment, the great surgeon that is God, is giving me the opportunity to receive a heart transplant. Even if we think it is too late (like after calling someone an idiot) is it not too late for a fresh start, to be given a new heart, so that I may think, feel and act in new ways, better ways. We are dependent upon this new heart because it is our only way out of this vicious cycle of conditional me based love. The love that says "I will love you as long as everything goes well in my life" is a selfish love that pins itself to the conditions of me. But the love that says "I will love you no matter what." is big, deep, high and wide (Ephesians 3:18)! That kind of love can not be pinned down.
God's love is unconditional and our is not. We will never get love right because at the seat of us we are not right. It is not until God gives us a new heart , his heart, a right heart, that we even have a fighting chance at not only loving others well, but loving ourselves well because God loves us. Yes, we are part of the equation, and all we must do is ask. Never stop asking. I know it is God's desire for you to live a healthy, whole and holy life in all areas of your life.
The greatest commandment for me to Love god with all my heart, soul, mind and strength (Marks 12:30) hinges upon me loving God more than I love myself. This is why many will chose not to love God, because their love is working just fine….for now. Getting healthy can be one of the most selfish endeavors ever. Don't fall into that trap. Fall back into God and receive a full body and soul makeover from head to toe, inside and out and be a walking heart beat of God's love. The overflow of God's love shows itself in the proof of us being able to love our neighbors as ourselves. (Mark 12:31) Unless my neighbor would like me to go over to him and call him an idiot because his dog pooped in my lawn, I am going to need a greater love than mine. God's love, now that's a mad love!