*Post updated January 2023
The Problem with Sin Management
Years ago some friends took me golfing for my birthday. I don’t get to do it often, and I love it, so I was very excited to get outside on a beautiful golf course for the day.
It was a celebration of friendship and we thought we should take full advantage of this opportunity, cut loose, and act a little more like juveniles. We drove our golf carts around like they were ATVs and took running swings off the tee. We got loud, we got drunk, we got in big trouble.
The short version is, on the 14th hole, the general manager of the clubhouse came out with a couple of other staff members asked us to leave. We had broken the axle on one of the carts and now owed the Golf Club $900 to repair it. So what do you think I told my wife when she asked how things went? I told her we had fun.
There’s no situation so bad, that we can’t make it worse.
I had really missed the mark. I had behaved badly. I had sinned. Now I was trying to cover it up and manage it on my own. For three guilt and shame-filled days, I tried to avoid the fact that I had not only made huge mistakes and I lied to my wife. I tried busying myself with work, doing projects around the apartment, binging on movies and video games, and eating too much. It was killing me.
In the words of King David, “When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.” Psalm 32:3-4
The truth is, though, what’s hidden in the dark will fester, harm us morally and spiritually, and affect us physically as well.
Rethinking Confession
Confession gets a bad rap.
We might associate the idea with bad religious experiences we’ve had in the past or with things as terrible as the Spanish Inquisition.
It’s also scary because it means we make ourselves vulnerable and let someone see the parts of ourselves we don’t like very much. The truth is, though, what’s hidden in the dark will fester, harm us morally and spiritually, and affect us physically as well.
I’m so glad that Jesus didn’t leave me where I was, trying to manage my sin. For three days the Spirit of Truth kept speaking to me, gently asking me to confess, repent, and tell the truth, to myself, to Him, and to my wife. Finally, I relented. I could not manage my sin and justify my behavior anymore. I agreed with God, confessed to Him, and told my wife the truth.
Needless to say, she was very hurt. For two days she did not talk to me much. Somewhere in the middle of the second day, she forgave me. She freed me from the guilt and shame I was carrying because she had been listening to the voice of truth as well. In fact, she forgave me so fully, that when I asked her if I could share this story, for a moment, she couldn’t recall what I was talking about.
That’s what Jesus does, if we are willing to listen to His voice and agree with Him. He wants to set us free from the mess we get ourselves into, the destructive habits that hurt us and those around us. He’s so much better than our sin management. It’s why James 5:16a says “Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” Confess so that we may be healed!
Making Confession a Habit
I still had to pay for that golf cart. I needed to earn my wife’s trust again. I still needed to learn and grow from that experience, so I don’t repeat my mistakes. But that’s what Jesus does with us when we confess our sins rather than manage them.
He teaches us humility, so we don’t think of ourselves as better than others.
He teaches us empathy for others who sin so we remember what it feels like to be in a place of shame and guilt, to offer compassion to them.
He teaches us gratefulness for His love, mercy, and grace and makes us more like Himself.
My strong recommendation is that you find a safe and trusted friend or group of friends you can be real and honest with about your struggles and sins and who can do the same with you. Give and receive forgiveness from one another.
Perhaps, as we head into the season of Lent, we start a spiritual discipline like the Daily Examen.
At the end of the day, pray and ask yourself these questions.
1. What am I grateful for today?
2. Where did I partner with God today?
3. Where did I fail to partner with God today?
4. Where might I partner with God tomorrow?
Make it a habit to bring your sin to Jesus so you can regularly experience how much better He is than your sin management.
Wes Scheu (Platoon 20) is a Pastor and the Revelation Wellness Staff Chaplain. He lives in Denver, CO, with his wife Erin (Platoon 19), their three kids, and their doggie. He loves seeing people grow in their relationship with Jesus, sharing coffee and food with friends, and being with God in the wilderness.
10 Responses
I have been reading the book For three weeks know and i am not a reader BUT WANT so much to learn how to get closer to God! So thanks for there post they are very uplifting and help me a lot.
We are so glad these posts bless you, Kimberly!
Wesley…well done. Such a timely word for me…of course. Thank you!
So glad this blessed you, Kim!
Wes, this is an amazingly written, humble on point blog post! So powerful I shared on my FB feed! Thank you for being honest and sharing this, thank you brother! This is so powerful and brought to mind adam and eve’s first sin management attempts…the fig leaves and hiding…our attempts so insufficient and God’s forgiveness and peace through christ so amazing! Thank you one of my favorite blog post!
Thank you for sharing and reading the blog, Rhonda!
I so enjoy all if rhe PODCASTS and Rev TV videoa! God is so good
Thank You so much!
We’re so glad you’re here, Diane!
JUST BEEN GOING BACK READING SOME BLOGS AND WITH THE HOLY DAYS BEING NOW THIS MESSAGE REALLY SPOKE TO ME. LIKE WES, I HAVE SOME SINS THAT HAVE BEEN LOCKED UP INSIDE AND I REALLY NEED TO SET THEM FREE. WES STATE “he truth is though, that what’s hidden in the dark will fester, harm us morally and spiritually, and affect us physically as well”. I NEED TO GET OUT OF THIS PATH OF DESRUCTION. THANK YOU AND GLAD I OPENED THIS PAGE UP TODAY. EASTER BLESSING TO ALL
Our kind Jesus forgives you and makes you new! Thank you for sharing, Heather!