“I don’t know what on earth I’m doing,” I said to my husband.
When he asked me what I meant, I unleashed all my insecurities about all the changes I have made recently. I made a prayerful decision to switch my career focus to faith-based fitness and writing. I left a good and secure job to follow this call. My career change seemed to be moving along pretty well, with people expressing interest in my Revelation Wellness classes, our finances being pretty stable without my income, and my writing time increased. But then some obstacles arose, and all the little fears I tucked deep inside started to rear their ugly heads.
Did I make the right choice?
Am I supposed to be doing this?
I feel like I’m failing.
I don’t know if I can do this.
I feel like I’m wasting my time.
I want to give up.
That last one, the wanting to give up, was the one that scared me the most. But, it was also the one that made me think about where these fears were coming from. There are a lot of things I don’t know right now, such as how many people will show up for my fitness classes, how well I will teach them, how successful my writing endeavors will be, how we might tackle any financial surprises.
But, one thing I do know is that God would not ask me to give up on something he has called me to do. Plus, all of those fears essentially stem from one big fear – insecurity, the fear that tends to creep into my soul often.
You see, I’m a bit of a perfectionist. I don’t do well with doing things wrong. So, when I feel like I might fail, or like I won’t meet the expectations I’ve set for myself, I tend to panic. I think of all the what-ifs and think maybe I need to pack it all in, go back to what I know, keep everything safe. Sometimes safe is the right answer, but sometimes it can keep me from following God. When I’m out of my comfort zone, my default reaction is fear and insecurity.
But, God is secure.
The day after my fear-filled breakdown, which ultimately ended with me in tears, I prayed and read Luke 10:38-42. In this passage, Martha welcomed Jesus and his disciples into her home. Martha’s sister, Mary, sat at Jesus’s feet listening to his teaching, while Martha busily prepared dinner on her own. Martha became frustrated and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come to help me.”
Jesus responded this way:
“My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken from her.” Luke 10:41-42
I’ve read those words many times, but that day they were a blast of light on all those dark fears. At that moment, I could see the downward spiral I was in the day before, and I knew it was not from God.
These words reminded me that worry should not be our first response to insecurities and complicated details. Life is complicated and new business ventures are complicated, but I don’t have to respond with worry. Worry is not the One Thing that will set me free; Jesus is. Jesus is the One Person worth our concern and He will not be taken from us.
It really should not surprise me that this all occurred just before the start of the 21-Day Sugar Fast. What we might lose in sweetness to certain foods, we will gain with an increased focus on the sweetness of God’s word, God’s promises, God’s truths. Whatever we give up for the sake of God, whether it’s food or fears or both, we will be blessed.
“How sweet your word is to my taste – sweeter than honey in my mouth.” Psalm 119:103
So, whatever challenges we face today, whatever worries creep in to steal our joy, I pray that we might hear Jesus’s sweet words saying, “My dear friend and child of God, you are worried and upset over all the details. Following and trusting me is all you need to be concerned about, and I will never be taken from you.”
In the comments below, share how Jesus’ words meet you in your worries. How do you feel when He tells you that you only need to be concerned with following and trusting Him? Is there anything you need to repent of? How is He asking you to move forward?
Dianne Beck is a Revelation Wellness Instructor from Platoon 22, mom of four adult children, writer, and teacher. She lives with her husband and dog, Max, in Southern California. You can learn more about her work on her website!
Thank you for reading this week’s Revelation Wellness Blog! If you’ve been encouraged by these blogs and other resources from Revelation Wellness, we invite you to join “The Wellness Revelation” Small Group led by an Instructor close to you! Visit our website to learn more about the book and find a small group near you!
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ALISA’S RESTORATIVE FLOW – “REST & REMEMBER”
Restorative flow is the practice of slowing down and opening your body through stretching which allows your muscles to relax. This is a great way to end your day after work or it can be one of the last things you do before you get into bed. (ALL LEVELS) (ISAIAH 1:4; YOGA MAT)
26 Responses
Diane, I am so excited to see what the Lord does in you and with you! You were a blessing to me at retreat. worry is something i struggle with also due to my perfectionism. god doesn’t want us to be perfect he wants us to do our best in his strength.
Thank you for your encouragement, Tricia!!
Wow – so talk about God’s perfect timing. . . .this week I pushed the submit button on a graduate school application. I have been working as a volunteer leader in a ministry for about 9 yrs. I have a fulltime job that is extremely stressful but pays well and I don’t hate it. I feel as though I make a contribution. but for a long time I’ve felt god pulling me in a different direction, to make ministry a fulltime thing. i’m 55 yrs old, my husband is 62. not the ideal time to make a career change. but repeatedly, god has impressed this calling on my heart.
so, here I am, petrified. even though I know he’s in this, in spite of repeated confirmations. thank you for your encouraging words that spoke right into my fear today. many blessings.
We’re cheering you on DeAnna! Good work getting comfortable being uncomfortable!
GM Diane we met at Retreat and I remember talking to you briefly while getting our morning coffee.
This was a delightful article on fear and how to overcome it just by spending time with our lord who always keep us in perspective that his love is greater than fear!!
He has me right now in a resting place. sometimes i do think did i do the right thing? should i not be in this place? why was I so Excited and now the desire to workout is not there. 🙁
I fasted and feel so full of his grace he puts upon me. it’s a bitter sweet feeling of ok i want to pursue but when is there going to be a breakthrough?!!
so i wait patiently wait until that door opens I’m pretty certain he is teaching me more before this happens. thank you for the lesson of casting all fear away.
bless your time with the lord and how blessed you will be to change the lives of souls who need to feel loved through you and this ministry.
love,
Jen Bickel
Thank you for sharing, Jen! We’re so glad you joined us in the fast and that you have been blessed through it. Love > Fear!
Thank you for sharing this. I loved your reference to Luke 10… Inspiration for my own liFe!
Natasha!! I’m so glad this blessed you 🙂 I hope you’re doing well!
Wow. Last night i went to bed feeling like my life sucked
Because Many of the things said here are EXACTLY how i feel right now and i too am in a new season where i quit my job to stay home with oUr 2 foster littles and its so much haRder than i thought it wOuld be. Thank you for sharing . I so needEd this, and i dont always read these !
You’re the girl for the job, Jennifer! You’re doing good work. I pray that you have a loving community around you to lean on during this time.
Diane,
Thank you for this blog. I’ve been struggling a lot lately with what I should be doing with my career/life… Feeling like there’s more for me and that I’m not doing what I should be in life. I’ve consistently felt confused and unsure of myself. I’ve have prayed and felt frustrated that I haven’t heard answers. But perhaps, I simply need to focus on my relationship with the Lord, and the rest will come?
On top of it, I started a fitness journey 45 days ago with another program. I’m seeing results and definition in my body that I’ve never seen before, and a level of commitment I’ve never had before as well… but over the last couple days, I’ve noticed some unhealthy habits developing and wondering if these people in the other program, though my coach is a Christian, are focusing too much on self-love and vanity, helping to develop these habits I’m noticing in myself… and wondering if I’m on the verge of creating an obsession… which I don’t want.
Right now, I’m feeling pretty uncertain and confused about so many things. This isn’t the first time I’ve tried to embark on a fitness journey, and not the first time I’ve come across Revelation Wellness (obviously, I’m getting all the emails). But yesterday it came to mind again when I started thinking about this program I’m doing. I went to my emails to see if I could find a program I signed up for some time ago with RevWell that I never completed, to see how it compares to what I’m doing now… and I came across your blog.
I’m sure that’s no coincidence.
Thank you for offering just a tiny bit of clarity for me, and others,.
Oh, Kristy! I am praying for you with your career and wisdom with fitness programs. You are where God has called you to be in your work and your questioning. He has already given you wisdom to be critical of the things you’re learning in this other program and to seek His wisdom. Check out our program, “The Little Way.” https://69e9ef5477.nxcli.net/challenges/tlw-product/ This may meet you where you are. Or, find a Wellness Revelation Small Group starting in October! https://69e9ef5477.nxcli.net/twr/ This study will hit on many of the questions you have right now.
This is so goOd…and true! You have no idea how much it helped me!
We are so glad, Nancy!
Along with the sugar fast, I am also reading Joseph Prince’s book, Live the Let Go life – all about living in Rest instead of worry, anxiety and stress
That book sounds wonderful, Wilma! Thank you for sharing!
Thank you for this!
I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes. Jim elliot Who was killed in an attempt to evangelize the Hauorani people in Ecuador said, “he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.”
Thank you for sharing, Debra!
Thank you sooo much Diane!
Thank you for sharing this great blog, Diane!
Thank you for reading along on the Revelation Wellness Blog, Michelle!
This blog is Explains exactly what i am going through right now and was a huge confirmAtion to keep trusting god in the midst of All the UNEXPECTED changes. Thank You for this post!!
We’re so glad you’re here, Liz!
This story really hit where I have been asking God, during this time, about. I am tired of being afraid. I didn’t know I was afraid because I didn’t place my anxiety, my sense on control, worries, and my detail obsession as a fruit of fear. During this fast and even now I can see that I dont have to have it all together! I just need Jesus, nobody cares as much as about the deets as I would think to believe. I don’t wa t to miss God for my tree of fear! I believe wholeheartedly that my father will take away my fear and make me strong and courageous and brave for his sake. To be close to him like mary. To be both Martha and Mary with priority in mind.
Thank you for sharing, Astariea! This post really resonated with me also. This fast has drawn me closer to the Lord as well. I’m so glad you joined us in this fast!
Thank you for sharing dianNe! This post was a blessing to me. I love to hear about God’s faithfulness to act and sPeak to Us directly through His word!