Be still. BE still. BE. STILL.
It started out as a whisper and then gently got louder. This went on way longer than I would like to admit, for years even, and often daily. I would hear it when I would mindlessly scroll throughout my day. My husband and I both felt it, even as we named our small home décor store “BE STILL.” God spoke to both of our souls saying, “Be still. I am Raphah, the Healer of your painful pasts.”
Sometimes I could silence the call to be still and push it away. Sometimes the call would become so loud that I would try to listen and obey. I would commit to walk away from all the noise and not check in on the outside world. Then I would return, wondering what was going on “out there.” I was bored with monotony and wanted to “feel” connected. I could hardly ride in a car without scrolling or searching or reading something on my device. I justified my actions: I wasn’t actually posting my highlight reel, so my presence on social media wasn’t as bad as other people. I was just keeping up with what was going on. Who was I kidding? I hated that I couldn’t just be still and present.
I hated that I had this hidden sin eating away at me. Every time I read a blog by someone with the same struggle, or watched a video showing people staring at their devices all the time, I would think, “Oh, I’m not that bad!” or, “I wish I could be like them and live less dependent on this stupid device!” I almost felt like an addict. I wanted to be able to live without scrolling but couldn’t find the strength to put my phone down. He would whisper again, “Be Still, lay it down at my feet, I will be your strength.” I knew it was getting to be too much when that little device started creeping its way into my quiet time. I love my time when I can wake up and spend time in God’s Word. Still, I justified my phone because I was reading devotions or following a Bible reading plan online. But this led to checking my email, sending a message, and looking at it every time it vibrated. I was so distracted. Then I became hypocritical. I would tell my husband he needed to learn to be still and relax because he was always shaking his knee or chewing his nails. But what was I doing? How was I any better? I wasn’t. Shame, guilt, and attempts to hide all started creeping in.
God has been so faithful to me as He has allowed me to serve as an Enrollment Advisor for Revelation Wellness®. While at the instructor retreat intensive this Spring, He told me to put my hands over my ears during praise and worship. What???? “Do it, daughter. There is too much noise and I have so much to tell you. Block it out.” I obeyed and in my mind’s eye, He took me to a place I had never been before! He led me to the top of a hill. As I approached the summit, I had to cover my eyes because the light was so much brighter than any I had ever experienced.
“Be still, my lovely daughter. Be still and sit with Me. I have so much more for you than you could ever ask or imagine! Lay it down.”
“But I have regrets. I regret not being present, looking at that device and not looking into my children’s eyes more. I regret rolling over and scrolling as I try and go to sleep, rather than let my husband hold me a little longer. I regret standing in line staring at my phone rather than showing love and concern for the people around me. I don’t want to feel the pain of those regrets. If I stop staring at my phone I might have to actually hurt as I realize what I have missed out on. I don’t want to hurt.”
God’s reassurance came to me – “Daughter, I’m doing a new thing. You are royalty and there is no lack or loss in MY Kingdom. I am here to rescue you from this stronghold, restore what you feel is lost, renew your mind and open your heart to see with freshness. Just lay it down and I will do the work. I love you. Let Me be the one thing that quenches your thirst. I am the living water, the only way to satisfy your thirst. Sit with Me and just be still. Be OK with the silence. I will meet you there. I will fill the voids. I will redeem this area of your life. Be still.”
God is so gentle, so kind, so loving. After returning home, He took me back to that hill and this time I was able to look at the glowing ocean in front of me. He said, “This is the glory of my grace.” His grace rushed over me like never before. Just a week before I cried out to Him—-please show me what Grace really is! I know about grace, but do I believe grace is for me? I felt like I could tell people about it and even pass it out, but could I accept His grace for me?
In true God fashion, He gently taught me about grace. I didn’t even realize it at first. I started to feel the pull of my device fade away. I started to find joy in being more present and noticing everything around me. I started to see my kid’s eyes in a new way. I started to have a new, refreshed love for my husband. I started to be OK just riding in the car and not have to be doing something. I actually finished a book because I wasn’t on my phone every spare moment! What’s going on? GRACE. I’m not feeling guilt and regret and shame for what I missed out on, or for what kind of role model I have been for my children. I’m doing something new. This is grace. Grace? He’s showing me! He’s showing me what it is for me! Not what it is for others, but me, His precious, beloved daughter. Be still. I am Raphah, healer. This is grace.
Better than I could ask or imagine. He takes me to that hill every day and it has turned into a vast ocean where we sit together and talk and watch it glow with the glory of His grace. It has become my favorite place. I believe with my whole heart He has a place like this for you too, and it will be better than anything you or I will ever see scrolling on these silly devices.
Come to Him, and find rest, friends. Put down your phone, your iPad, your device. Let Him teach you as He is teaching me – about grace, rest, and being still.
Chivonne Daum | Revelation Wellness Enrollment Advisor, Wife, Mother & Daughter of the King
Join us for a great #workoutWednesday! Meet Katrina Canfield, Revelation Wellness Lead Instructor, in a Cardio Ladder workout! This workout will challenge you to get your heart rate up and keep it there for a full 20 minutes. Your lungs and legs are about to battle. But your mind of Christ gets the final say.
Our next instructor training class begins in August! We would love to have you join us! For more information, click here!
One Response
Wow….how INCREDIBLY powerful. I needed to hear these words. While I have parameters set for myself and my device, (no looking at the phone in the evenings after work nor on Sundays) it’s very hard to stick to that, but I do try. Your beautiful message has confirmed something I’ve already been wondering, “How much am I missing out on while I’m texting other people and checking Instagram?” I’m missing time with my sweet, precious Father, that’s what. Missing life, missing precious time with my family…not being present. I feel the Lord pulling me away as well. And I love it. Give us the strength Lord to have courage to LAY IT DOWN and let you do the rest. Bless you Chivonne!