He First Loved Us

He First Loved Us

Revelation Wellness October 17, 2018 (2) comments

Britney: Good memory has never been my strong suit. There are years from childhood that I have no knowledge of at all, but there is one thing I can never forget. At the age of nine, I began praying for my husband, who I knew would be a pastor.

Josh: At the age of twelve I felt the calling to ministry. I loved my youth group growing up. I figured, “Who doesn’t want to get paid to tell kids about Jesus and go to Six Flags?”

B: Fast forward ten years and you would see us as two Bible-college sweethearts carrying job titles of youth pastor and foster care social worker. The masked grin plastered on my face painted a portrait of the perfect pastor’s wife, but my insides were ridden with anger, pride, and scars of childhood abuse. I struggled with food addiction and believed the lie that if I pursued being perfect, I could somehow attain it.

J: Age twelve was when I began spending my alone time with anonymous ladies on my computer screen. They didn’t care that I was shy. They didn’t require an authentic relationship for me to be tangled up in. I could watch them anytime I wanted, without fear of rejection or damage to my low self-esteem. I was also convinced that I could leave them behind when I entered into my marriage covenant with Britney.

B: As we entered our fifth year of marriage, my faith plummeted. Until this point, I had bottled up my past, pretended like it didn’t exist, and had put all my trust in my marriage. Expectations that can only be mantled by my Abba Father were laid on Josh’s shoulders. The day I found physical evidence of years of Josh’s betrayal I didn’t know where to turn.

J: After years of lying to myself, others, and God, I was found out. My wife confronted me with evidence of my addiction. This time, I couldn’t lie my way out. To be clear, I did not come clean on my own. I was caught.

B: Without owning any brokenness on my part, and as an effort to “make my marriage perfect,” I confidentially committed to a Celebrate Recovery study group.

J: I felt lost, isolated, and was consumed with worry over losing my marriage and ministry position. I reached out to another pastor friend who referred me to a local Celebrate Recovery ministry.

B: For the first time in my life, I found renewal of God’s Spirit within me. I was loved despite my brokenness. I learned how to cry, was allowed to take off my “ministry mask,” and learned the truth that hurt people hurt people.

J: While I sought recovery, I learned my identity wasn’t defined by ministry, but rather that ministry is part of the calling He has for me as His child. Even though God had prepared a platform for me since childhood, my motivation until this point was primarily out of co-dependence and people pleasing. God started chiseling away at those places and filled them with a longing to serve His heart and His people.

B: Soon, the Holy Spirit told me we were meant to leave vocational ministry on a particular date. He also began weaving a vision that led to the dream of Josh and I using fitness to share the gospel in the heart of our local community.

J: Despite the fear of man and fully relying on faith in God for our future’s financial provision, God captivated my heart in a worship service, and I committed to transitioning from my pastoral position. The date He released me to transition was the same date Britney had received earlier that day. For the first time in my life, I loved God so much that I was willing to sacrifice all I’d ever known for Him to renew me.

B: For years I failed to understand that loving God and loving others just wasn’t enough. For me to fully walk in wholeness, God had to reclaim me from my chaotic mess. In our current season, our favorite tagline is that we GET to serve in the ministry that God had for us all along. I would have never believed as a nine-year-old girl that I would be able to deliver the gospel through burpees and lunges.

J: God’s rescue taught me that delivering His goodness to others required health of mind, body, and soul. Though this isn’t the ministry I imagined myself being in as a kid, I know it is the ministry my Father has designed for me. I was hesitant to view fitness as a ministry. Now I know my God is powerful enough to use our pasts to deliver His good news on whatever platform He chooses. The good news of Christ is that He first loved us and that as we love Him in return, we find ourselves becoming healthy and whole.

Josh and Britney are fitness teacher gospel preachers, trainers, and ambassadors for Revelation Wellness in Huntsville, Alabama. Besides wellness, they have a heart and passion for recovery ministry and serve as state representatives for Celebrate Recovery. You can follow their ministry, Reckless Reclamation, here!

Thank you for reading along on the Revelation Wellness blog this week! If you haven’t already, you can still purchase the beautiful “Heir to the Crown” devotional and leave a review here!



Workout with us in this #wednesdayworkout! For more workouts like this, partner with Revelation Wellness for at least $10/month and receive RevWellTV!


This workout will flip-flop you back and forth between cardio and resistance training. Sure to keep your body guessing. Muscle confusion? No big deal. God is never confused about us. Get comfortable being uncomfortable in this workout.(ALL LEVELS) (JUDGES 4:8-9; DRUMSTICKS)

recent comments


Jenni Corson October 17, 2018

Thank-you for accepting me right where I am...Let's just say I'm a fitness beginner! This is a work-out that touches my soul! Thank-you!


Sarah Cummings October 22, 2018

Thanks for sharing such an inspirational story. :)

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