Ever feel stuck between your faith and your feelings? Jess is here to help with encouragement and truth.
I felt like I had to choose between God or my feelings.
Meanwhile, the shame would hit me like waves crashing into the shore. With every feeling was another wave trying to take me out. I was standing on the shoreline with my feet in the sand while every wave only left me sinking deeper than before.
“I choose you God but why do I still feel all these feelings?”
“God, I prayed to not have these feelings why am I still wrestling with them?”
“God, what if I just ignore them and focus on you?”
These are all questions I once asked myself on my journey to learning what it meant to be a daughter of God.
God’s not asking us to choose. He wants us to go to him with our feelings, not choose him or our feelings.
The world gives us ultimatums. God gives us invitations.
The world says you must choose between XYZ or you are XYZ.
God says, let’s look at XYZ because you are my daughter.
God’s not asking us to choose. He wants us to go to him with our feelings, not choose between Him or our feelings.
God lives in the both/and, not either/or.
A both/and statement says, “You can XYZ and still XYZ.”
For example, “I am happy to end dieting and frustrated how long healing is taking.”
We are not choosing only to be happy but also to honor the frustrating parts of healing. We often believe that we have to be happy or frustrated but never allow both. Both/and will enable us to honor the experience.
When we have to choose, one way leads us to life, and one path leads us to shame and guilt.
We also use either/or statements like this, “What I am going through isn’t as bad as what someone else is going through.” When we say things like this, we choose not to honor our story because of someone else’s story.
However, when we use both/and it says that we can walk through our healing journey while someone else walks through theirs. There is no need to compare our pain and healing to someone else. We do not have to choose their pain or our own. Everyone has room to experience their pain and walk through healing.
Both/and helps free us up from the emotional bondage when we constantly try to choose.
There is a saying, “You can’t have your cake and eat it too.” Both/and says you can. Both/and creates space for the conversation. It explores the gray area in between and surrounding our choices.
Both/and allows us to imagine a better way. What if we ate half of the cake and saved the rest? What if we bake another cake? What if we share our cake with someone else? These questions allow us to see new possibilities. It is not a choice between having a cake and eating it. There are many possibilities outside of either/or.
The last example would be when we “should” on ourselves.
We should work out.
We should eat chicken.
We should make dinner at home.
If we don’t do XYZ, then XYZ will happen. We believe one action equals only one reaction. (Which is usually the worst-case scenario like gaining weight or guilt because we “should” be better.) It says do XYZ or else.
Both/and says we can feel and experience more than one thing at a time.
What kind of fruit is this producing in your life?
What is at the root of all this kind of thinking?
Let’s look at Luke 6:43–44, which reads, “For a good tree does not bear bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. For every tree is known by its own fruit.” The part of the scripture that stands out to me the most is that every tree is known by its fruit.
Whether the tree produces good fruit or not, the tree is still known by its fruit. Our lives resemble the tree. I asked myself, What kind of fruit am I producing and reproducing in my life?
We can examine this way of thinking and ask ourselves, “What kind of fruit is this producing in my life?
Next, let’s look through the lens of God’s love for us and His definition of love.
“Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
In between the passages about gifts of the Holy Spirit, we see how we are to live out these gifts. We can weigh much against God’s love and decide if how we are treating and talking to ourselves is through the lens of our identity in Christ or the lens of our pain and failures.
When you choose to have a brownie, are you being kind to yourself at the moment? Are you patient with yourself in the process of healing? Are you resentful towards others because you think they have it easier than you?
As believers, we are so afraid to be kind and loving towards ourselves, especially compassionate, because we believe we are being self-serving and into “self-love.” If we are flowing from our identity, we will have compassion as God has compassion on us through His Son. We are not called to hate ourselves in the name of Jesus.
A healthy relationship with ourselves starts with a healthy relationship with God.
Today is the day you get to welcome both stories.
Can you think about the recently chosen moments you chose either/or not both/and?
A healthy relationship with ourselves starts with a healthy relationship with God.
Jessica Hottle is a faith-based fitness coach, host of From Head to Heart, best-selling author, and speaker with a heart for teaching women how to dismantle the lies that keep them from healing and wholeness. She is the author of 4 books with her new book being Face Off with Your Feelings: Break Up with the Lies From Your Past and Embrace the Truth for Your Future. Check out her guide to living by faith and not by feel.
Christian Meditation for Big Emotions
Biblical meditation is the practice of hearing and resting in God’s Word on a daily basis. Hearing His truth changes neuro pathways which improves your thought life and actions. Biblical meditation will help you find rest for your soul, perfect peace, and abundant life.
The focus of meditation is on God, His glory and majesty, His ways and works in the world. Its intended effect is to shape your inner life and outward behavior.
In this challenge you’ll receive:
• 21 days of Biblically-focused, 15-minute audio meditations to help you practice the art of mindfulness (similar to our Be Still and Be Loved podcast episodes)
• Printable Move in Love Journal to help you interact with the daily scripture
AND MORE!
