Marriage advice is endless, but keeping God in the center is the best place to start for a healthy and whole marriage.
I have learned many things about marriage and relationships over the past 16 years. Through numerous years in marriage counseling and individual marriage coaching, I have gained incredible wisdom and tools that have transformed me and my marriage.
But the most life-changing, home-changing, future-changing, game-changing factor has been looking to God. Spending time with Him. Seeking God first and God only. Soaking in His presence, His presence changes everything.
As two very imperfect humans try to coexist and love each other well, there is bound to be hurt, disappointment, resentment, anger, sadness, and even hopelessness. There are needs or wants you wish your spouse would meet. There will be hopes and expectations missed.
Without trying to, you can put a lot of pressure on your spouse to meet all your needs and satisfy all your desires.
But, when you consistently get into God’s presence, you realize He is the Satisfier. He is your Great Comforter. He never breaks His promises. He is your Provider and Protector. He is all you have ever wanted and all you need.
What if we were so filled with the perfect love of the Father that we could have a heart of grace and deep love for our spouse?
God Meets You in Every Situation
When fear floods your heart and mind, like why and what if my spouse is not doing it the “right way”, and what will other people think… In His presence, fear is gone. You get to cast your fears to Him. He takes your burdens, and you get His way, easy and light.
When you struggle to see the good in your spouse, and all you can seem to think about is negative, I urge you to look to Him. Ask for His eyes and His heart for your spouse. Your spouse is God’s precious daughter/son whom He created, cell by cell. His beloved. Ask for the love you cannot muster up on your own at that moment. God is the source of true, abiding love.
When you and your spouse are in a situation that seems like an insurmountable mountain in your marriage, remember that in God’s presence, everything changes. Your perspective can shift from a worldly, limited mindset to a Kingdom vision. What seems like a big deal shrinks in His presence. Not because it is insignificant but because God, the Maker of heaven and earth, is right there with you.
You get to speak life to your spouse in all circumstances. Remember that God created the whole cosmos with His words. Words have power. They can bring life or death. Speak life. Even if you can only see one small sparkle of good, I urge you to speak it. Your spouse is a son/daughter of the Creator of the Universe. They have worth beyond measure. They are loved and forgiven. And that is the truth.
When it feels impossible to forgive your spouse, He is the way. He is the author of forgiveness and grace. Look to Him; God knows and understands. He knows every tear you cry. Ask for what you do not have. “Lord, give me grace. I need you.”
When you don’t feel loved or appreciated “enough,” take time to bask in God’s magnificent love for you. His love never fails. His perfect love casts out fear (1 John 4:18). Love that is impossible to understand its height, depth, and width (Ephesians 3:18). The kind of love we all long for. “God, show me. Teach me. Thank you.”
God Meets Your Every Need
Are you looking for comfort? He’s the Great Comforter.
Do you want someone to listen? He’s the Wonderful Counselor. He already knows what you are thinking but listens with endless love and patience.
Does shame keep you burdened? Do you carry around guilt so heavy it’s paralyzing? You are forgiven. Your sin is white as snow (Isaiah 1:18). THAT is why He came. You are forgiven and free. It is finished. “Thank you, Lord!”
Love, joy, peace… isn’t that what we all long for? What were we hoping for when we said, “I do?” He is the source of it all. What you lack, He has. Patience, love, wisdom, strength, courage, the words to say. He is all-knowing, all-loving, and all-powerful. Always with you.
Being with Him, soaking in His love, basking in His grace for you. You are whole, complete. Lacking nothing.
What if we showed up to our marriage this way? So filled and overflowing with the perfect love of the Father that we could have a heart of grace and deep love for our spouse. A joy that can’t be contained. A peace that passes understanding. Lacking nothing.
What if…
So, I want to ask you… have you been with Him? He changes everything.
Angie Stockman is a Revelation Wellness Instructor from Platoon 28. Angie lives in Michigan with her husband of 16 years and two children. She is passionate about people knowing the Father’s love and resting, rising, and walking in freedom.
