*Post updated September 2022
Why I Had My Breast Implants Removed - Part 7
Jesus is My Plastic Surgeon
There was nothing special about the office building to make me think, “This man knows beauty.”
As I wandered through the hallways, the smell of fresh construction wafted through the air. My cynicism radar was on high alert. The protective barrier around my heart was fully deployed.
I was looking for Suite 960. Moving down a hallway of brown doors against freshly painted yellow walls, I searched for his name—something indicating to me that I had arrived at the doctor of my prayers.
Another brown door. Another brown door. I started to feel like Alice in Wonderland. All the doors looked exactly the same, bathed in the same fluorescent light. Until I got to Suite 960.
This door had something really special on it -an 8.5 x 11 piece of paper that said: Dr._____, Dr.______, Dr._____, and Dr. Holcombe. You’ve got to be kidding me! This is it? Do the doctors seriously have their names on a piece of paper taped to the door? They couldn’t even afford a $50 acrylic name plaque?
“I don’t think this guy is it,” I thought to myself. But out of a commitment to my friend, Renee, I decided to hear what this guy had to say.
I checked in with the receptionist, who directed me to the waiting room just around the corner. The waiting room was the size of my pantry. No, wait…my pantry is bigger.
I took a seat near an older man, who certainly was not there for any kind of beauty enhancement. “Maybe this doctor is some kind of burn doctor or something,” I thought to myself.
There was a distinct lack of naked statues, pink neon lighting, and towers of beauty products like the first plastic surgeon’s office had.
“Alisa?” My name was called.
The Doctor Who Spoke Life
I was escorted into a room with one dental-looking chair, a sink over some cabinets, and a little black stool with chrome legs on wheels. No pictures on the wall trying to please my aesthetic senses, just a chair staring at a sink. “Nothing special,” I thought.
Dr. Holcombe walked in with his assistant, Sarah. The conversation began.
Dr.: “Hello, Alisa. I’m Dr. Holcombe. I see you are interested in an implant explant.”
Me: “Yes,” I said, “but before we get going, I wanted to let you know that we share some friends in common…the Worcesters.” His face seemed to light up like an angel.
Dr.: “Oh yes…the Worcesters…some of the best people I have ever known.”
Me: “Me too. They are people who help shape my life.”
With the secret VIP password out there, I was no longer talking to a doctor; I was talking to a fellow brother in Christ. I exhaled a little.
The rest of the consultation went off without a hitch. He asked me if I was having any problems with the implants. I told him I wasn’t, they just didn’t agree with me any longer; something in my soul was not settled with them anymore.
Instead of trying to talk me out of it, he told me what I could expect and how he would give the best treatment he knew to give.
He picked up on my major fear – looking like a train ran over my chest. To which he said these words, “Alisa, You are a beautiful woman now, and you will be a beautiful woman then.” I said, “Amen.” He said, “Yes. Amen. I love an amen.” “Me too,” I said, as my voice began to crack and fade.
I began to cry.
He handed me a tissue.
I didn’t know I needed to hear I was beautiful by someone I had never met, who does “beauty” for a living. I needed the authoritative voice of someone to tell me I was not crazy. That I was not defined by my mammary glands.
We decided the best thing to do would be to remove the implants and then wait three to six months to see if a lift was necessary. I asked if it was true about something called “fluffing” – the process of the breast tissue kind of filling back up a few months post explant. He said he wasn’t really sure, but he would never deny God’s healing powers.
He told me, “There’s a healing process that the Lord does with each individual. It’s His right to do it.”
He was saying what God had been speaking to me. The voice of my King, telling me that He was going to heal me and restore me to my true beauty.
Entering True Beauty
I entered the world of “pretty” the world’s way—in a bright, flashy office, flooded with beauty, and a doctor who told me what he could make me become—and I was now leaving “pretty” and entering true beauty, quietly and humbly, with a “nothing special” doctor who told me who I already was.
I knew this was it. This was going to happen.
I began to cry a little more strongly, and the doctor asked if I was okay. I told him I was feeling the grief now. The mourning of who I was for who God was inviting me to become. It felt like death. The death of me. The doctor sat with me and kept handing me tissues.
Dying to pretty is not pretty.
Next, Dr. Holcombe said nine game-changing words to me. Words that resurrected me out of my grief.
He said, “I would be honored to do this for you.”
Wait…did someone say honor?
My Spirit rose up, and I knew this was my call. A holy, high, honorable, and humble call was bestowed upon me. Not my have to, but my get to.
And with that, he asked if I had any more questions. I didn’t. Then he put the big holy cherry on the sundae and said, “Can we pray before you go?” “Absolutely,” I said. We prayed. We said amen. And it was done.
Fullness of Life
I was sent to the scheduling office, where I asked his assistant, Sarah, one question I had forgotten to ask the doctor, “Is it true that implants should be replaced every ten years or so for health and safety?” She said, “No. That’s a myth. There’s no reason to remove unless there are complications.”
Immediately I was frustrated and mad at God because it was confirmed, again, that I didn’t NEED to have this surgery. “Then why? Why did you ask if I would do this, God?” I thought.
Two breaths later, this truth came into my mind: God knew what he was doing with me when he allowed me to go forward with these implants 15 years ago. He knew that in 15 years, a new decision would need to be made. And the only way I would have possibly been open to discussing this with Him was if I thought it was necessary.
Although the surgery seemed more unnecessary than ever before, this was His time for something new. He wanted to give me fullness of life in the Kingdom, even if it meant flatness of chest on earth. He had been masterminding this event since eternity past.
“You see all things; you saw me growing, changing in my mother’s womb. Every detail of my life was already written in your book.” Psalm 139:16
He wanted to give me fullness of life in the Kingdom, even if it meant flatness of chest on earth.
My Free-Will Offering
Sarah asked if I had any more questions. I stared out the window, a little paralyzed and said, “Yeah. I have one.” I turned to look at her and said, “Do you think I am crazy?”
Sarah took a breath, looked at me with her young, flawless skin, spun-gold hair, and beautiful blue eyes, and said, “No, actually…I think you are quite brave.”
Yup…brave. I’ve heard that before.
In the parking garage, I sat in my car and had another cry. I was still kind of mad about the whole not-necessary-AT-ALL surgery I just said yes to. Why God? Why?
I needed some fresh confirmation from God. I told Him I was going to open up my Bible app, and I NEEDED Him to give me a word, a fresh yes, that this was His will. Because the loophole of it all not being necessary seemed like a good enough reason to turn back.
Of course, He spoke:
“Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its desires. Do not offer any part of yourself to sin as an instrument of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer every part of yourself to him as an instrument of righteousness. For sin shall no longer be your master, because you are not under the law, but under grace.” (Romans 6:12-14)
Oh, sweet grace that saved a wretch like me.
This was no longer my sacrifice but my free-will offering. Something even more glorious.
My “have to do something about this” got me to make the appointments. But it was my “get to,” my free-will offering, that got me to show up for surgery on May 11th.
Keep Reading Alisa's Story...
Alisa Keeton, Founder of Revelation Wellness is an author, speaker, and freedom bringer. Alisa’s life’s purpose is to make healthy disciples who make healthy disciples. She believes in the power of the Body Of Christ and its many unique parts making up one complete whole. Like any body, it grows best under tension. We are living in the best of times for tension. Let’s train!
13 Responses
Loving your honesty and transparency, Alisa. As the doctor said, you ARE beautiful, in every way. Life is not about pretty. Pretty fades; its definitions change. Whoever thought anyone would think tattooed women would consider their marred skin pretty? But you, precious one, are beautiful with an eternal, internal beauty that is visible to all who know you.
How lovely on the mountain are the feet of one bringing Good News. And that is what you are presenting to us; the true gospel that we are invited to join the One who loves us most on a great adventure revealed to us as we say “Yes, I want to go with You.” And each step of the way, He makes us more beautiful.
Time to re-read “Hind’s Feet On High Places”!
Mama P!
xoxo
You are BRAVE! So proud of you.
Oh, boy, Alisa! There are a couple phrases resonating in me, “I didn’t know I needed to hear I was beautiful, by someone who I had never met, who does “beauty” for a living. ” and “He was saying what God had been speaking to me. The voice of my King, telling me that He was going to heal me and restore to me to my true beauty.” AND “Dying to pretty is not pretty.”
When I was 16 years old, almost 34 years ago, I was struck by a car while riding my bicycle. Ever since then, I have had deformities in my legs. They swell – one more than the other – and just look awful. I honestly can’t tell you the last time I wore shorts! At the time of the accident, I was obese – and stayed that way until late 1989 when I had gastric bypass surgery. About 5 years after losing 140 lbs., I unknowingly developed an ulcer – never went to see a doctor about the pain in my gut – and perforated through the staple line of my bypass. I essentially ended up having 2 stomachs because of that fistula and gained back all plus more of what I had lost.
As my weight continued to creep up, and I know I used food as a coping mechanism, I finally sought help – it took a prediabetes diagnosis. In November 2011, I underwent surgery once again for repair of the gastrogastric fistula that led to my weight gain and came out of surgery with a “new, modern Roux-en-Y gastric bypass” (the words of my doctor). I have since lost 150 lbs. For a while, I was able to maintain my weight with just exercise – but I knew the time would come where that wouldn’t be enough anymore. The food issues are still there – I STILL turn to food as a coping mechanism.
A few years ago, I had vein stripping and ablation for painful varicosities, also hoping that the swelling in my legs would improve. The auto insurance company that is supposed to cover any issues related to my accident for the rest of my life refused to cover the surgery. Their “professional” who has never met me and has only read my medical files says that my legs swell because I was obese, not because of my accident. So here I am, 3 years after vein surgery, having to wear support hose every day, all day, 365 days a year. I’m so frustrated. I’ve prayed for healing. I KNOW God can heal me. He even gave me a personal Word that he would restore health to my legs to their 16-year-old health.
I’m sorry this is so long, and I’m probably rambling. I sat here just sobbing as I read your story and as your words hit me this morning. I need to “die to pretty.” I am SO thankful that I have the health I DO have in my legs and body – that I CAN move and exercise and sweat and ENJOY it (sometimes! Lol!). My prayer now is for total deliverance from food issues – and now I can add total deliverance from “pretty.”
HE sees me as beautiful! That’s another thing He told me years ago – even BEFORE I underwent surgery again – that I am CHOSEN, BEAUTIFUL and LOVED.
Thank you for sharing your story. You give me hope.
Kari,
We are praying for you. You are bold and courageous and the same brave in me is inside of you. His arm is not too short to reach, nor too weak to lift. I am believing for you. We all are. He doesn’t make promises to us that He won’t fulfill. He just doesn’t. Fill your “home” (your body, mind and spirit) with as much of him as you can take. Healing is coming.
Wow! Just wow! What mighty God we serve to orchestra all of this for YOU and at the precise time!
Alisa- what a journey you’ve embraced! Your story has reached deep into my heart and inspired me to deal with my own fears that are holding me captive. Thank you for being brave on so many levels, boldly sharing your story. Your words have made a difference to me. They captured my attention, prompted me to listen to the gentle whispers God has put in my ears, to remove my own implants. My ‘implants’ are not breast implants, but actions and behaviors from my past, when I was in hot pursuit of being pretty. God has been calling me to deal with that junk, so He and I can deepen our relationship and the true beauty he set deep within me is able to shine. When you said, “me, the daughter of the King, who used her freedom to destroy her freedom” that summed up me and the choices I made. It helped me realize (once again) how deeply God loves me, allowing me to squander my freedom, yet patiently waiting for the day I would realize the depths of His love. He allowed me to make choices 25 years ago and now I’m ready to boldly step forward to see how He wants my story to be used for His glory. Thank you!
I have been eagerly reading these posts and through you I am being fed fresh air from our Savior!!! Thank you for sharing this journey with all of us. The power of your story resonates with me, not because of the specifics, rather because we all struggle with some unspeakable fear that has kept us rooted and not let us soar. THANK YOU AND AMEN, SISTER!!!
Thanks Jen. My body is his instrument to be filled with His glory. This is just another “get free” moment for me. No regrets..at all!
Sweet victory in Jesus!
i have seen a plastic surgon every year asking questions about the implants because i was having complications. every one told me to keep them and enjoy them. how was i to do this with my body telling me otherwise… i am so happy that i found the ps i did… great christian man who also said “this is going to change your life and it would be my pleasure to help you” (im pretty much sobbing ready through all of these blogs in a row).
God is so good!