Intuitive Eating Coach, Jennifer Taylor Wagner shares how your body can respond to food freedom through Intuitive Eating.
Caring For Your Body With IE
So you want to find food freedom, but you’re terrified about what will happen with your weight. I get it. Not only did I feel the exact same way, but I hear it over and over again when I’m coaching women through the Intuitive Eating journey.
It’s terrifying. You’ve wrestled with your weight for a very long time, and the thought of throwing your hands in the air and waving them like you just don’t care sends dragon-sized butterflies through your tummy.
There’s a reason for that, though. Allow me to explain.
The first thing I want you to understand about food freedom is that it’s actually not throwing your hands in the air and waving them like you just don’t care. While the very first step is rejecting diet culture, we have to understand that that is not a demand to stop caring for our bodies. After all, our bodies do a lot to keep us alive and flourishing every day!
Of course we want to do what we can to feel our best. And the good news is that there is absolutely a way to nourish and steward our bodies without restrictive dieting–we just need some tools and a little guidance.
Dieting Vs. Wellness
The truth is that turning away from dieting is not the same as turning away from wellness. Believe it or not, the two are worlds apart. Dieting is reducing or restricting food intake for the sole intent of weight loss. Wellness is an active and ongoing pursuit of good health–which actually encompasses our entire being: body, soul, spirit, relationships, our daily dynamic, being fulfilled in life, living out our callings, and so on.
So if we want to live well and feel good in our bodies, we have to zoom out a little. We have to look at the whole picture rather than assuming that achieving “skinny” equals being healthy.
We’ve spent a lifetime thinking that “getting healthy” means going on a diet and dropping the pounds, but in reality, this is a misconception. Believe it or not, the silent and damaging effects of dieting are overwhelming, which is why I spend so much of my lifework helping people walk away from it altogether.
Because the crazy truth is that restrictive dieting:
– decreases metabolism and teaches the body to retain more fat when you start eating again,
– increases cravings and leads to binge eating,
– has a 95-97% failure rate,
– leads to disordered eating, and
– is the #1 predictor of weight gain.
Yes, you read that correctly.
The dilemma is that we keep going on diets to lose weight, but the opposite is actually happening over time. And we do that because we don’t know what to do instead. We care about our health and we want to feel our best, but no one teaches us how to do that without dieting.
So we’re stuck. We’re losing and regaining the same weight over and over again, and this only makes us feel like we’re failing. But what’s actually happening is that our bodies are adapting in order to help us survive. Our cells don’t know we’re restricting calories to lose weight; maybe we’re stranded on an island or something.
Either way, our bodies are trying to serve us. So our response is to get curious about how we can begin to work with our bodies in freedom and self-kindness so that we truly feel our best in every way.
Get curious about how your body might respond when you start letting kindness lead the way instead of weight loss.
What About My Weight?
Here’s the thing.
You don’t have to completely disregard the “weight” conversation in order to reject dieting and find food freedom.
I want to validate your nervousness about weight and I want you to understand that there are so many layers to unpack when it comes to that one little word we all shy away from.
It’s a tender subject for many of us. Whether because of something someone said to us, because of cultural expectations, or because of what’s portrayed in the media, the weight of that word in itself is heavy to carry.
But the reality is this: bodies fluctuate. It’s just the way that it is.
And when it comes to finding food freedom through Intuitive Eating, weight fluctuations are bound to happen.
But what you may not realize is that you don’t actually have as much control over your weight as you think you do. It’s one of the many reasons that dieting is not a valid solution for wellness and why dieting actually sabotages us.
If you’re a recovering chronic dieter like me, then you’ve likely had weight loss sitting in the driver’s seat for a long time, even when you weren’t actively pursuing it. Whether or not that weight loss has actually stuck around forever is a more difficult question to unpack. But regardless, it’s something that lingers in your mind all the time.
When it comes to finding food freedom, the invitation is to reprioritize. This means that while we’re not completely disregarding weight (and we’re certainly not living in fear about our weight), we’re also not letting weight loss lead the way in our wellness journey.
And I know exactly what you’re thinking! It’s like, “Jennifer I hear you but you don’t get it! I’m so uncomfortable. I just want to lose this weight!”
I hear you, friend. And I’m going to explain to you exactly how all of this works, but the very first thing I need you to do is to loosen your grip a little. Because your over-emphasis on losing weight is what’s keeping you in diet mode.
And diet mode leads to weight gain along with disordered eating and a whole host of other things that are not serving you.
So here’s the deal.
Your body has a genetic blueprint that was given to you by a very good God. The hue of your eyes, the tone of your skin, your height, the width of your shoulders, the shape of your nails… it’s all uniquely you.
And just as you wouldn’t spend an entire lifetime trying to change, say, your shoe size, it’s equally as important to open your heart and mind to the ways your body will naturally reach it’s comfortable setpoint weight as you heal your relationship with food and find peace with your body as is, and as you pursue actual wellness (not just weight loss).
And it will. Your body will adjust as you regain trust with yourself.
The Stages of Intuitive Eating
As you embark on the Intuitive Eating journey, you’ll go through different stages. At first, you’ll give yourself unconditional permission to eat and to eat all foods–no restrictions.
But as you’re trying to find your groove in this new endeavor, you may find yourself over or under-eating, frequently reaching for foods you once labeled as “forbidden,” or even feeling out of control around foods you love.
This is normal. And it’s a very important part of becoming an Intuitive Eater. However, this will likely not be the same eating behavior you’ll maintain forever.
As you regain attunement with your body and it becomes easy and effortless to make food decisions, things will level out. You’ll no longer feel out of control around foods you love, and you won’t feel restricted in any way.
Restrict-and-binge cycles will become a thing of the past. You’ll be able to feel your fullness and to stop eating when you feel comfortably full. Everything will regulate, and your body will naturally land in its comfortable sweet spot.
The beauty of food freedom is that you’ll live in a flow rather than a cycle—no more repeating the same on-again-off-again diets. You’ll just live and move and nourish.
Now, that probably sounds amazing but you’re still wondering if you can ever get to that point. Don’t worry! I assure you that you can. You will get there.
I should also mention that it is one hundred percent ok to seek guidance from a trusted, non-diet source as you aim to feel your absolute best. Remember, it’s not about throwing away all intentions of health; It’s about pursuing health in a way that is actually serving us well.
What's Leading The Way?
Intuitive Eating is not a weight-loss program. It’s not a diet. There are no rules or restrictions; Only guidance and tools to help you become the expert of your own body.
In fact, the minute you slip back into a white-knuckling pursuit of weight loss, you’re right back in diet mode.
So, instead of spending an entire lifetime trying to lose weight, consider accepting the invitation to reprioritize.
Place weight loss on the back burner for a while. Then get curious about how your body might respond when you start letting kindness lead the way instead of weight loss.
Now, if you’re starting to realize just how important it is to step off of the dieting rollercoaster, but you’re still afraid, I’d love to leave you with one question to consider. Without any self-criticism or judgment, ask yourself this question: “How has focusing on weight loss served me thus far?”
Has it led me to a place of freedom, energy, and self-kindness? Has it allowed my body to stabilize at its natural setpoint weight? Has it held me in bondage and made me feel terrible about myself? How has striving to lose weight actually served me thus far?
What are the thoughts and feelings that arise as you reflect on your past dieting experiences?
My friend, I have good news. Freedom is possible. Now is your time to take that baby step (or giant leap) forward so you can heal your relationship with food, movement, wellness, and yourself!
Jennifer Taylor Wagner is an author, podcast host, and educator who challenges women to renew their mindset concerning health and wellness. As the author of Your Good Body, the host of Your Good Body Podcast, and a speaker and educator, Jennifer inspires us to heal our relationship with our body so that we can feel our best physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.
Find Food Freedom
Do you feel like your relationship with food is complicated? Have you listened to the world’s opinions about what foods are “good” or “bad?” Do you find yourself using food to manage your emotions? Does food have control over your life?
If you don’t want food to be the boss of you, surrender your thoughts and invite the Holy Spirit into your life in a new way by focusing on the results that matter – the health of your heart, mind and soul – not your weight or any results a scale can measure. You are invited to join us for our new program, Food Is Not the Boss of Me: 21 Days to Food Freedom.
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