“How to catch a man, how to catch a man, girls are always asking me how do you catch a man… you catch him while you can with the Minnie Pearl plan…”
These are the lyrics to a hilarious song that reveals a culture that is steeped in the narrative that a woman needs a man. This narrative also comes with another one…how a woman looks determines her ability to snag that man… (if you are a man reading this, I see you and I know you have a similar story, this is for you, too).
So, what happens when you don’t marry? Or when you get divorced or when you are widowed? Where does your mind go? What do you believe about your looks and your body when you’re no longer trying to catch a man?
If you are like me and have been caught in this web of lies, can I encourage you today? Your life has a deeper meaning and more purpose than your marital status. Your greatest “I do” is to Jesus; following Him is about way more than your hip to waist ratio! After I went through a divorce, I had to intentionally change my mindset about my body and my value as a woman. Here are four strategies to improve your body image after divorce:
1. Mind your mind
What are you giving your attention to? We give the most attention to that which we desire, and we ultimately become what we behold. Now, as much as I love sweet romance movies and even Christian romance novels- I had to step back. They created a longing in me that led to a false belief that I must be thin, pretty, and younger to find love again. Even the belief that romantic love was the greatest mission in my life.
Is this your experience with romance movies or novels? Maybe God wants to show you something else that has captured your attention and created a lie about your body image and worth. Ask the Holy Spirit to mind your mind and show you where you need to shift.
2. In-N-Out
I am not talking about the burger place. But Romans 12:2 that says be transformed – inside out. When I put down romance stories, I committed time to study the Word and listen to Jesus.
In these God-focused moments, I discovered: how I feel about my body is based on what I perceive its purpose to be. What about you?
Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal and heal where you have believed lies about your body’s purpose. Invite the Holy Spirit to lead you away from the patterns of this world and be transformed.
3. Choose your intention daily
Once you hear purpose from the Holy Spirit, choose it daily. Is your body meant to be a sex symbol or a sanctuary? An ornament or an instrument? Are you living for self-gratification or God’s glorification?
Your body is a good body. It is designed to be the place where you and God meet and where you engage the world with His love.
I saw a man pass out from hunger in the streets of Brazil and I was able to run and get food for him. I saw how my body was made for good work. It is so much more than a vessel to attract a man…it was a vessel God created for good and on that day, chosen to deliver His gospel message in a tangible way with bread and the Bread of Life.
4. Commit and declare your mission
Commit and declare your purpose daily. I have a personal mission statement that I intentionally recite every day. My mission statement helps me line up my thoughts and even my agenda. For those days, when I need extra help, I have programmed my Alexa Echo to respond when I ask: Alexa, what’s my mission? “Robyn, your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to inspire, teach, and lead others to be holy, whole, bold, and free.”
I invite you, all of my singles (and couples!), to lean into the truth that your body is created for a purpose that is so much greater than your looks or body size.
“For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.” Ephesians 2:10, NIV
How was your body image impacted by divorce? What has helped you remember your God-given purpose and worth?
Your body is created for a purpose that is so much greater than your looks or body size!
Robyn Owen-West is an Ambassador for Revelation Wellness delivering the pizza of the good news of Jesus as a missionary to Shores of Grace ministries in Recife, PE Brazil. Robyn is a missionary, fitness teacher, gospel preacher, Mom to an incredible young man, and founder of Training Wholeness. You can reach her at: Robyn@trainingwholeness.com.
3 Responses
What timing!
I found out today that my divorce was final yesterday. It made my day.
And seeing this email tonight was the icing on the cake. 🙂
Thank you!
This message was sent to me in February and I say it today December 26, 2022. Wow! I praise God that it spoke to me today and I was ready to embrace and receive it today. Thank you.
We’re so glad this blessed you, even months later! Thank you for sharing!