The community equation: This is how to find your people

The community equation: This is how to find your people

We're all created for community. Amia shares an equation to help us build it.

find your people

Wouldn’t it be great to plug your destination into the GPS system and in a matter of a few seconds you could be on the road to “find my people?” 

Or even better, what if you could open your rideshare app, type in your current location, choose the type of friend group you want, and just like that your ride is on its way to take you to a made-to-order community? 

Seems simple enough, right?

I joke, but honestly, I think this is what we’re not-so-secretly hoping for, and we are all on either side of that friend equation. In some way, it feels like we’re back in the eighth grade walking into the school cafeteria and we have no idea who to sit with at lunch. 

It feels downright scary, humiliating, and vulnerable. In a time when the world feels chaotic, shouldn’t friendships be easier? Shouldn’t we know how to build community by now? 

I thought so too. But, this past year has been a journey in honoring and healing from the grief of lost friend groups. I miss being deeply connected with people I’ve done life and ministry with. I’m also learning as growth and healing happen, that these friendships didn’t fizzle because something went wrong.

God is showing me that something went right. Now, after two years of experiencing friendships come and go, He has me in a new heart space, preparing me to serve new people in a way that I never have before.

The Giver has not forgotten you either. I am convinced we are in a particular moment where we get to honor the declaration found in Scripture, “we are not those who shrink back” (Hebrews 10:38).

FIND YOUR PEOPLE, LOVE YOUR PEOPLE

“Find Your People, Love Your People” is a phrase used by the Revelation Wellness community that acts as a compass, reminding us how to move on mission and continue the work God has called us to. We share the phrase on T-shirts, social media hashtags, in Revelation Wellness Instructor Training, webinars, and more so we are deeply aware of our mission to build community and be part of authentic community ourselves.

I recently posted a Facebook poll to ask how the phrase resonated with people. It turns out it carries a wide range of depth and consideration. 

Several shared a conviction that God has placed them on earth for them to serve specific people in a specific way. For others, it means looking for others trapped in the same kind of shackles they used to carry. Or, it means making time for the people who are lonely. 

What if FIND YOUR PEOPLE means considering the places where you were once numb but God allowed you to feel again? Now, from this place of provision, you carry an empathy to know how to help someone else feel again. 

Let’s take some time to break it down. 

“We are called to be a community of people, on a mission, delighting in God, delighting in each other, redeemed and reconciling the world, bringing them and inviting them into this family. This is the ultimate purpose of community.”


WHO & WHERE ARE YOUR PEOPLE

I’m reminded of the story of the fish and loaves in John 6:1-14. 

Sometimes we are invited to give God what we have so He can use it to feed others.

What do you have to give?

What has God provided for you that you could share with someone else? How has He opened your eyes, your heart, your mind? How can you come alongside someone else to show them how to live life more intentionally? 

“We did not feel prepared to be heirs of such a terrifying hour. But within it we found the power to author a new chapter, to offer hope and laughter to ourselves.” — Amanda Gorman 

One of my favorite verses is found in 2 Corinthians 1:4; we are reminded that God has a way of helping us and loving us and out of that abundance, we are then equipped to help others in the same way that He loved us. 

"He comforts [encourages] us every time we have [ in all our] troubles [trials; tribulation], so when others have trouble [any trials/tribulation], we can comfort [encourage] them with the same comfort [encouragement] God gives us."


THE PEOPLE QUOTIENT

In the book 5 Voices: How To Communicate Effectively With Everyone You Lead, authors Jeremie Kubicek and Steve Cockram refer to Relationship Management as your PEOPLE QUOTIENT.

The ability to know and lead yourself is what Kubicek and Cockram define as self-awareness. A strong PQ allows people to ask others what it’s like to be on the other side of them. PQ is actually a mirror (see James 1). When you really look at yourself in a mirror you may find that you have broccoli in your teeth that no one has told you about. And we all have broccoli in our teeth. The bits of broccoli are the things about us that annoy other people the most. 

Once you can recognize your PQ, you’re in the right heart space to find your people and love your people. This self-awareness keeps us interested in people, allowing us to stay curious about who they are and open to learning their stories. 

Are you curious about the people around you? How can curiosity help you get to know others and build an authentic community?

Once you can recognize your PQ, you’re in the right heart space to find your people and love your people.


HOW ARE THEY YOUR PEOPLE AND WHAT IS GOD ASKING YOU TO DO WITH THEM

Every sports team, every unit of the military, every nurse, teacher or lawyer, every profession trains in order to be ready to accomplish the goal of the work they set out to complete.

How much more, then, is training essential for every disciple of Christ? 

Paul insisted that Timothy discipline himself for the purpose of godliness (1 Timothy 4:7). 

Discipleship has become a big scary word in certain settings. But, intentional discipleship is how we can best love our people.

Discipleship doesn’t have to be complicated. It is simply walking with someone through any life stage, Bible study, or wellness program. It’s anything that allows a person (ourselves included) to grow in spiritual maturity and help make the connections between physical well-being and spiritual well-being. 

The invitation to find our people is an invitation to live according to the great commission of Matthew 28:18-20. 

Like all training plans, a solid fitness program will always include strength, endurance, and flexibility. Muscle training and conditioning are the keys to enhancing your endurance training. Flexibility allows your muscles to restore and recover in order to prevent injury.

The same is true with the Body of Christ. Each of us is a unique part of the body and in order for the body to remain injury-free it requires strength (Isaiah 40:31), endurance (Hebrews 10:36), and flexibility (1 Peter 5 & 2 Corinthians 4).

You cannot be the body of Christ alone.

It’s time to find your people!

TRAIN FOR DISCIPLESHIP USING THE RELATIONAL FITNESS QUOTIENT (RFQ)

FYP + LYP = PQ  [Find Your People + Love Your People = People Quotient] 

CQ + PQ1 + EI = RFQ [Curiosity Quotient + Passion Quotient + Emotional Intelligence = Relational Fitness Quotient]

PQ (RFQ) = M28 [Passion/People Quotient x Relational Fitness Quotient] = Matthew 28:18-20

PRAY WITH ME

God, would you open our ears to hear from you? We thank you for the work you have done in our hearts and our homes. We thank you for the way you take things that seem ridiculous and use them for something beautiful.

Thank you that you alone refine all things, restore all things, redeem all things, and bring them all to a place where others watch with wonder. All for the good of others and your Glory, may we display your handiwork not just in word or deed but in how we live our lives. 

Amen! 

Amia Freeman is a Lead Instructor for Revelation Wellness and lives in Marietta GA where she teaches fitness classes for general and active aging populations with a specialty in Alzheimer’s memory care and Parkinson’s restorative wellness. Amia is a certified ACE Behavioral Change Clarity Coach.

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3 Responses

  1. Just finished reading “ This is how you find your people” blog post by Amia and this…

    “But, this past year has been a journey in honoring and healing from the grief of lost friend groups. I miss being deeply connected with people I’ve done life and ministry with. I’m also learning as growth and healing happen, that these friendships didn’t fizzle because something went wrong.”

    Spoke to my soul!!!
    I’ve also found myself in this place of finding my people and have been blessed with God showing me my blueprint on how to do it with intention and grace.
    Thanks for your obedience in writing and exploring this so wonderfully.

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