As your health changes in different seasons, Hayley shares how to choose kindness instead of shame.
The only thing constant is change.
These wise words from a Greek philosopher describe our experience as women and men living in a wild and broken world, in changing bodies that can puzzle and frustrate us as we age, and in relationships that go through joyful highs and devastating lows.
I am currently 37 years old and in a season that is anything but stable and predictable. My children are getting older, and I am learning how to parent in the world of teenagers. I am juggling a college degree and a new position at work, and other areas of life have thrown some significant curveballs at me.
These changes have caused my physical health and wellness to drift, which can quickly lead to heightened levels of guilt and shame in my heart and mind.
When the clothes don’t fit as they did six months ago, when my body can’t do the HIIT workout without significant pain, when my energy is so low and my mind so cluttered I can’t even muster up the nerve to go for a short walk…these are opportunities that the enemy has used to keep me stuck and adrift on more days than I care to admit.
But God.
I love and follow a God who is kind.
A God who looks at my weariness and offers me grace, not shame. A God who reminds me that this world is not my home and that these struggles truly are temporary. A God who gives me wisdom and encouragement to handle the inevitable changes I will face daily in His strength and power, not my own. A God who prepares me for the different seasons I will live through in my parenting, physical health, marriage, career, friendships, and spiritual life.
The season I am in now is not my favorite, and I pray it is short-lived. But, it is also one that I am confident I will be grateful for when I get to the other side of it.
These stormy seasons are often how God matures me and increases my dependence on Him. Those are priceless gifts that make the hard days worth it.
In this season of weariness and uncertainty, heaviness and confusion, insecurity and restlessness, I can look to my God who is not weary, not uncertain, not confused or insecure – but who is stable, steadfast, constant, unwavering, trustworthy, and kind.
And by looking to my God, my anchor in this stormy life, I can offer myself kindness as well.
Ephesians 4:32 says, “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving as Christ forgave you.”
If I am called to be kind to those around me, wouldn’t it also be wise to be kind to myself? Why is it that I default to discouragement, guilt, and shame when the Lord calls me to kindness, tenderheartedness, and forgiveness? Why is it easy to offer those beautiful gifts to others but so hard to accept them for myself?
When it comes to my physical health and wellness, I am learning to be kind.
Choosing Kindness
In this season of life, where I am no longer the half-marathoner that I once was, wearing the clothes that I once did, or having the energy and mental clarity that I once had, kindness looks like this:
– Identifying my priorities this season and firmly saying no to the rest
– Choosing healthy snacks and meals when I can, and not obsessing or shaming myself about it when I cannot
– Giving thanks to God for what my body can do today, not comparing it to what it could do in the past
– Confidently wearing clothes that fit me well, regardless of the size on the tag
– Reaching out to trusted friends when negative thoughts and insecurities begin to take over
– Reading the Word and resting in the assurance of Jesus in Matthew 11:28, “Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Be kind to yourself. When changes are happening around you, whether they are wonderful or challenging or painful or all of the above, take your attention off of your circumstances and place it on our unchanging God, and breathe a long sigh of kindness and grace. Let’s make that the norm.
What does it mean for you to choose kindness in your health journey?
Hayley Farris (Platoon 25) lives in southern Minnesota, is married to a handsome soldier, and has four amazing kids. As the leader of the early childhood ministry at her church and the owner of Ten Four Wellness, she is passionate about sharing the good news of the gospel in her home and community.
